Dear
______,
Hey
man, I know I don't talk to you enough. I know that our relationship is far
from ideal, and the very fact that I am saying this in the form of a blog and
not to your face just goes to show how much of a coward I really am. First off,
I love you and care for you. It's hard for me to say that to anyone save Emily,
but that just reveals my heart. I wanted to write you and tell you that I think
about you often. And to tell you that I am afraid for you—afraid that you are
depressed, unfulfilled, and desperate.
First
of all, I don’t want your soul. I am not trying to get you "saved."
Seriously, I am not trying to change your moral behavior in any way. I don't
care if you smoke, drink, or sleep with anybody. That is not what matters.
Pointing out your "sin" is only pointing out that you are a human. I
don't want you to just drop everything you are doing "wrong," so that
you won't go to hell. That isn't the point. I am not trying to save you from
hell.
And
to be honest, it doesn't even matter if you think hell is real or not right
now. It doesn't matter if you think there is no right or wrong right now. It
doesn't matter if you think you are happy right now. But I do know for a fact
that there is something better, and I just want you to have it. I just want you
to experience joy.
Man,
I am not talking about a good experience—you already have those. I am not
talking about fun and laughter—you already experience that. I am not talking
about comfort, security, and God knows I am not talking about
happiness. Man, I want you to have joy. Deep joy that last. I want you to
experience complete and utter fulfillment, even if life is at its absolute
worst. Even when your horrible day takes a turn for the worse, and everything
you have built, everything you have created, everything for which you have
worked so hard comes crashing to a halt, and all you have left is you and your
joy. That is the joy I want you to have, and this is why I am writing to you.
You
may not think this joy exist, and I can see why. We have been lied to our whole
lives. Everything claims to fulfill. Everything claims to be the one
thing that will bring joy. Everything else say's I am the end of your longing, I
am the end of your searching, I am
purpose. But as we find out every girl, every toy, every job, every class,
every TV show, every single thing fails. It last for a while, but it fails. It
stops and doesn't work any longer. We begin to realize that we are only
searching for more of what we already have, and we begin to realize that it
will never fulfill us.
I
am sure by now you know where I am going with this. Man, there is only one
thing that will bring that joy. There is only one thing that can truly fulfill
your longing, searching, and desperation. You can lie to yourself. You can
trick yourself. But each time it has to be more intense. We become numb to it
man. The same trick doesn't last. It has to be bigger and stronger than the
last time. The raves have to be louder, the sex has to be better, you have to
get more smashed, you have to get more high, you have to have the better model,
you have to have the prettier girlfriend, you have to have better and better and better, but it doesn't
last. It can't last. It isn't God.
Do
you understand you will drive yourself into the dirt trying to fill the void
with something that isn't God? He is the only thing. He is the ONLY thing. Why?
because you were created that way. You were made with the need for something
eternal and you are trying to fill it with something temporary and it WILL NOT WORK.
Dude,
just give it up. Stop searching. Not because I want you to be "good."
Not because I want you to be safe. Not because I want you to adhere to some
moralistic code. NO! Stop, because I want you to have joy.
Man,
let Jesus fill it. Let Jesus fix it. Let Jesus be the purpose. You can lie to
yourself all you want, and scream "I have a purpose," but it will
fail you. It is only a matter of time.
I
know what you may be thinking at this point, and I understand why. You have
experienced religion before. You have seen what Christianity is like—at least
that is what you think. Have you actually read the Bible? I mean, have you sat
down and read what it actually says?
Man,
Christianity isn't anything like what you experienced as a kid. The Bible
doesn't say, "do this, do this, and do this to get to heaven." The Bible
doesn't say, "follow these rules and Jesus will love you." The Bible
doesn't say your behavior is all that matters. In fact, Jesus railed against
the people who acted like it did. He hated their sense of self. And I feel like
this is the picture you have of Christianity. I bet you picture "good
church folk" smiling at you with self-righteousness dripping from their
lips. I bet you imagine "Christians" walking by you with a narrowed
judgmental glare, and I bet you think of hypocritical, lying, selfish snobs every
time you think of Christianity. But if you read the Bible you would quickly
realize that those people have never once read anything beyond, "The Lord
is my Shepherd, I shall not want."
Did
you know that Jesus ate with, hung out with, spent all of his time with whores,
outcast, and men that sold out to a government that raped and murdered their
fellow countrymen (tax collectors)? There isn't even a modern day equivalent to
these guys (tax collectors) and Jesus ate with them. Do you realize that much
of the Bible was written by murderers, adulterers, and even these "tax
collectors?" This wasn't to say that we should go out and kill people, but
to show that God saves "sinners." And that is the point man. We are
sinners. We are all sinners. If you are a person you are a sinner, and that is
what most "Christians" don't get. Sinning is simply replacing God with
something that isn't Him, and we do that constantly. And that is why we do not
have joy.
We
all worship something. We were made to worship. So we worship sports, girls,
technology, movies, ourselves, and experiences. We all do it, and it is easily
seen if we simply look at where we spend our time and money. It is pretty clear
that we are all worshiping something that isn't God, and those things simply
are not
working. That is why we are depressed, unhappy, entitled, and angry. We are
unfulfilled. We are joyless.
To
be brutally honest, I am pleading with you to give up the
search. Please just hand it over to God, and worship the only thing that can truly
bring joy. I love you man. I want you to have joy, purpose, and true
fulfillment—that is only reason I am saying any of this.
Please
consider what I have said, and talk to me if you have any questions. I am by no
means knowledgeable, but I can find answers. Hopefully we will talk soon.
Zac