leaving the common

I’m ready to be done with the common. I’m ready to leave what I have always chased.

I work in retail and I easily see what people value. I can see that people are blinded to future necessity by their immediate desire, and I can see what they hold in their hearts as truly important.

Most of the time, I see them as a mirror. I see what they value and find that it is the same as what I value. This gives me a sense of duality. I feel a sense of commonality with humanity and I feel a sense of disappointment at the same time. I get the sense that we all want the same things and this makes me feel like I’m not alone, but then I look at the things that we all want, and I feel disappointed.

I see the price of an entertainment system that came in a bulk pack of twelve, and then I see people rushing to grab hold of this system (myself included) like it will truly change their lives. I see that price and know that this system will break, lose value, and eventually fail to entertain. It will be traded-in, sold, trashed, and something new will be chased after.

This is true not just for a video game system, but for anything in the retail industry. We have to have it, we get it, and then we say, “meh.”

At this point, many people would say that owning stuff like this isn't wrong, but I don’t know if I agree. I know for a fact that when it comes to myself -- it is wrong. Of course, I can’t say this for everyone, but I can say that, the pursuit of more, better, best is wrong for Zac Fridenmaker. When I go after something, I want it all and I will spend, trade, and sell until I get what I want.

This pursuit robs me of my focus, and it keeps me from pursuing the true passions of my heart.

This is why I want to leave the common.

I want to leave the common desire of the world and pursue something that is lasting. I want my life to matter, and I don’t want to die thinking,”Well, at least I beat Call of Duty.” I don’t want to leave this world thinking about Parks and Rec, and I don’t want Netflix to be my last word. 

I don’t want the common. I want life. 

 

And as far as I can see, life is comprised of God, love, and people. I want to lay aside these weights that so easily slow me down, and run as fast and hard as I possibly can. I want grace to carry me, and faith to make it real. I want the trivial to die, and ‘entertainment’ to cease because I believe that there is more to live for. I know that there is more to live for. The common must end, and life needs to begin.

It’s time to dive into the world and live stories of my own instead of watching and playing someone else’s.

Leave the common and chase the good.

coming up . . .

I will be publishing a couple of posts written by other people over the next couple of weeks! School is over for me now, and I will be able to put more attention into my blog. So look out for these next couple of posts, I think they will be a great read!

this is when i run

This is when I run. This is when I drop everything and get out. 

Historically, when it feels like this I give up. I lose commitment. I run away.

When work hours are increasing, when school is at it’s peak, when outside activities are vying for my attention, when I have a long list of “get this done or fail,” then I run. I change majors. I drop the class. I quit my job. I transfer schools. I stop trying.

In the past, I have always ran. That’s why I am 26 and still in college. That is why I work in a low level position making little money, and that is why I am, in most people’s eyes, a child.

I’m at that point again. At the point of difficult busyness where I would normally turn and run away. At this point, many people would say, “Zac, this is the time that will define you as a person,” or “Zac, how you handle this type of a situation will reveal what kind of man you are,” or they might also say “Zac, this is a test to see what you are made of.”


I say no, no that isn’t true.


When I follow through with my commitments to the end for the first time ever, I will not think that I have finally arrived. I will not think that I have made it, and I will not believe that I have finally shown the world what kind of man I am. Everybody knows what kind of man I am. They have seen me reach difficult times, and they know what I will do. They know that I will run. They know that I will not follow through. They know that I will make an exhaustive list of excuses as to why I should no longer continue on this path. These excuses will be enough to convince me that I am right, and that I should quit.

No, when I follow through for the first time ever, and stick with my commitments people will know that it wasn’t because of me.

I hope that they will see how great God is, and what He can do in someone’s life. Everyone knows what I would do because they have seen it time and again, but hopefully this time they will see what God can do. Hopefully, they will see what God’s unmerited intervention in someone’s life looks like. When I finish what I have started, it will not point to the greatness of Zac, it will point to the greatness of the God because God is the one who enabled it.

I’m not saying that if you trust in God he will just give you whatever you want, and make all your dreams come true. But I am saying that God changes hearts, and God changes deepest desires, and that is what he has done in me. The difference is that God has shown me my selfishness, laziness, and lack of commitment. He has shown me my childishness and entitlement, and these are the aspects of myself that had me running from difficulty and commitment.

And now God has changed my heart and given me strength to begin to overcome these nasty parts of myself. I don’t think that I am just growing up. I don’t think that I am just coming around. I think that God has shown me grace, and that it has nothing to do with myself.

How do I know this? I know this because I have always ALWAYS made the same decision. I have always run away from my commitments. But this time I have the strength to commit. I have the strength to follow through, and I have the strength to finish what I have started because God has given it to me. I have always tried to do it on my own, and I have always been able to fail on my own, but since God has involved himself I will be able to finish.

This is the grace of God in my life. When you look at how lazy and uncommitted I have been, you can easily see how much he has done.