The only outlet that helps relieve some of the creative pressure is writing, but I have yet to write in a creative manner. My writing is so formal -- like I am always writing a paper on organizational communication. So even though I do often write (far more than I post), I do not feel like I am able to creatively express myself. Even while writing this, I feel like I am telling my problems to a therapist instead of just communicating in a natural, normal way.
All that being said, when I observe great works of creativity I feel instant inspiration. Thoughts, ideas, and creativity surge through my veins. My imagination builds new worlds and greets new friends. My soul sings songs that have never been heard. My eyes paint a picture that would come awake into life, and my heart beats with a passion that I rarely reveal. All of this creative pressure builds within me, but when I put my hands to work it turns out looking or sounding like a five year old playing ‘hot cross buns’ on the piano. The things that I create inside my mind are stuck there without any chance of escaping. They are caged by my lack of creative talent and skill.
I think that this is a good thing.
The thing that inspires me the most is a great story -- better yet an epic story. A story that has sweeping pans of beautiful, distant, and vibrant landscape. A story that has an unyielding darkness that strikes hopelessness and fear. A story that reveals character, strength, and bravery. I love when a story that intertwines the mystical and the physical. I love a story with deep, meaningful character development that creates in the hearer a real connection. I love when a story is able to take the hearer to the point of disparity and bring in a hopeful savior at the last possible second. Most of us love stories like this. It would seem that these themes are what most great stories are made of -- a people, a darkness that deeply threatens their existence, and a great savior to rescue them no matter the cost.
It is stories like this that cause in me the creative passion that I was referring to. And I believe that if I could release that passion through a creative outlet, then I would not be driven to proclaim it. If I could witness a great story, be inspired, draw a picture, and then forget that story, then I would never again experience what that story has brought me. This is why I think that my lack of creative skill is a good thing.
Since I can’t get over the story, I can keep talking about the story. Since I can’t find an outlet for the passion the story creates, then I can keep telling others about the story. Since the story is an end in itself, I can always find imagination, music, art, and passion in the story that matters most.
I like this :-)
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